Wednesday officially marks the closing of this school year teaching full-time in an inner-city, public charter school.

Hallelujah.

I could sit here and tell you that this was the best year ever, that I truly felt like I made an impact on my students and so on...but I can't. I have to be honest. This year was hard. Oh my goodness, was it hard. I was let down, I was frustrated, I was overwhelmed.

However, it wasn't all bad. There were highs this year...what I call my "glimmers of hope".

Like the day I taught my 8th graders a South African dance and I totally thought the class flopped. Especially with the boys who thought they were "too cool for dance". Later that day, the music teacher came up to me asking, "did you teach an African dance today? Because I’m teaching the 8th grade African drumming and the boys could NOT stop doing the dance that they learned in dance class this morning.” Success!! (It’s the small victories, people!)

Or the time I watched my younger students perform at our Winter Concert. This was a group of students basically written off based on their academics and behavior. However, that night these students surprised myself and their school. They shined on that stage with pride, joy and confidence. It was beautiful...far better than anything I ever saw on the stages of New York.

There were the students who I thought were closed off and unreachable but then slowly started opening up, making leaps in improvement by this spring. Boys who loved to dance and did not care about the stereotypes. Students who stepped outside their comfort zone and for many experienced dance for the first time in their life. All of these moments were highs this year.

But not every day had a high. Most days I felt as if I was "putting out fires" and being a counselor more than I was actually teaching. Days in which I broke up 4 fights and wrote 5 office referrals BEFORE lunch. Time spent calling home to a parent to explain that their child was being completely disrespectful in class only to have the parent yell at me that it was my fault their child was misbehaving. Awesome. Evenings in which I left work feeling like the worst teacher ever.

This year has taught me many things but the most important lesson I learned is that it is vital to know my purpose in teaching. Even more vital? To constantly remind myself of it.

Statistics show that the average burn-out rate for teachers is now 5 years, in an urban area: 3 years and in an inner-city school: 1 year. Pathetic. Yet, at the same time, completely understandable. I personally know amazing, incredible teachers who have burned-out and no longer teach. Heartbreaking.

I could go into the politics, issues and other reasoning of why this may be, but there is one ultimate truth: we need to know and live our purpose. If we do, then we can persevere.

I had a mentor in grad school who told me this all the time. She used to tell me, "When you teach, remind yourself every day why you do it. It'll be hard somedays, but you need to. Trust me. Know why you do what you do and believe it." I remember thinking, "oh whatever, it can't be that hard." How naive was I? Her words spoke truth in so many ways this past year. I believe her words speak truth for any career field or path.

So why? Why do I teach?

My purpose stems from two very deep passions of mine: my love for dance and my desire for healing and peace in this world. From both of these passions a seed of an idea was planted in my heart.

What if dance could bring peace? What if people could find healing through dance?

It was 7 years ago, as a college undergrad when this idea first surfaced but it took experiences to bring it to light. Experiences such as when I did community outreach work with dance majors at JMU. Moments when we worked with adults who had autism and other mental disabilities, watching how they communicated, built relationships and bloomed through movement and dance.

Definitely, post-college as a teaching artist in DC this desire developed. I watched sullen, defensive, hurt students come alive through dance and resolve conflict. Tension in classrooms faded as my students built community through dance.

In Uganda. There, I witnessed children traumatized by a civil war finally express their emotions, starting to process their trauma...all through dance. I experienced how dance could speak across cultures and languages. I learned that education when combined with creativity and expression is a vehicle for change and empowerment. When the realization hit me that I can love through what I love.

I was fueled with the mission that each child in this world has a right to a quality education no matter where they live.

All of these experiences were stepping stones that built my purpose and wrote the "why" in what I do. Stemmed out of my two passions and molded into one solid purpose...into a calling:

To use education, dance and creativity to bring peace, healing, community and resolution.

...No matter where I am planted. Whether it is in DC or overseas in a post-conflict community. I have found my purpose and my calling.

For that I teach and I will continue to teach. This summer in Lebanon, next year back in DC and in the future...who knows where.

Year one: check.

Year two: ...bring it on.